| (no subject) |
[Aug. 21st, 2006|08:11 pm] |
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sometimes in life we are handed a situation that makes us question who we are after judging that situation we are more inclined to know who we are. today i was faced with just that sort of problem. after much consideration i took that path that most people would consider the more evil but not the most evil of the choices i had to respond with. i have come to the conclusion that this perspective of evil is form the one or ones that the so called mis-justice has occured to. this only drives that fact of perspective home all the further. to everyone else this person or persons are only getting what they deserve. however the point of whether someone responding to me in a similar matter would be injustice to me however i would not have done the things in question to deserve such a punishment. it is only logical to punish the those acting inappropriatly. and through that punishment if they are a strong enough person will grow and learn the error of thier ways, if not they damn themselves to hell. i hoped live would be much more beautiful, i was wrong horribly wrong. |
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| sometimes |
[May. 28th, 2006|04:03 pm] |
you ever want to update but you cant think of a damn thing to say? copy and paster that situation to the page.
give my regards to broadway. |
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| at work. |
[May. 20th, 2006|12:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | go to hell | ] |
| [ | music |
| | barb talking | ] |
i am at work right now and i jsut had lunch. long jhon silvers and yes it is because i have a death wish. so it has recently come to my attention that i am in fact and asshole. i am fine with the knowlege that most people think i am a giant dick. fuck the world in the oraphis of your choosing. if you have a problem with me then i suggest you jump head first off a cliff onto a lovely bed of rocks and land mines. i dont give a shit. if you think i should call you i think you should call me. and im not about to go making any effort to talk to certain people that have made no effort to talk to me and treat me like shit. if you want to talk get a hold of me. on a side note things have not worked out with that someone who is still (unfortunatley) on my mind. its alright. i will see him in hell after all of this is over. my body is on fire.
wont you touch my love button?
if you love me fuck yourself. if you dont fuck your mother.
kisses and drugs,
the killer. |
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| never the less. |
[May. 9th, 2006|11:53 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | opera techno | ] |
today is tuesday and i really dont like it. i had a dream last night that somone shot me in the neck, and then i used a slege hammer like a golf club and removed thier bottom jaw. it was a strange dream indeed. i had some other ones that would mean absolutley nothing to any of you so i dont really feel the need to share them. i am very tired but i do believe that is from this weekend. i have been spending alot of time over at mamma's house (christina) i like it over there, its quite a hoot. i really want a good massage. i would like to get away for a while, go somewhere and see something. its not going to happen but i want it to. there is this thing that has been on my mind alot lately and i would very much like to see him soon. my dad is as always being a gaint ass hole. its rather annoying but ive managed this long, i keep trying to tell myself that oneday ill be able to tell him off, but it isnt right now. i wonder how many of you are still alive sometimes.
shane |
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| halleljuah! |
[Mar. 6th, 2006|06:08 pm] |
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I GOT MY CAST OFF! NOT THAT ANY OF YOU REALLY CARE BUT I FIGURED ID TELL SOMEONE.
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| so yeah |
[Mar. 1st, 2006|10:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | fuck music | ] |
so i have no money what so ever, i am still in a cast three months later and i feel lilke shit. i have to get ahold of jean it has been too long. ... ... ... what the hell. i got a snake, i named him gnosis, the greek word for knowlege and put a tree in his tank ( the tree of knowlege and the devil, in case any of you which i know some of you are, very very slow.) he is a ornate flying snake and is green and black. i enjoy him rather much. so my foot still is no better i go back to the doctor on monday not that any of you care at all, but i thought that it might be nice to tell someone. i am tired as all hell lately and dad has been pushing housework bullshit. my hair was bright red for exactly one week and today i dyed it black as per prder of my father. ( i had to do it to keep gnosis) i still an single as all hell but i had a conversation with someone the other day that was nice so if nothing happens from that ill go on but there is a little hope stirred up inside me which doesnt happen often. i havent seen anyone in forever, work is going well, i say jory at miejer but didnt say anything, i called him the next day and left a message saying that if he wanted to he could call me and he didnt, i feeel slightly rediclous for even trying, i dont want him around me any more and i dont miss him, i really dont know what i was thinking, but old habbits die hard i guess. i dont even know what i need anymore, that how far this bull shit has progressed .i feel as though i dont know anymore which always scares me the most. life in all its glory is still just one side of the fence.
hopefully ill drown in the bath tub, kisses. |
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| ha ha ha christians |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|12:04 pm] |
TABLE cellPadding=20 align=center>
<tbody>
<tr>
<td align="middle">Satan
You scored 70% Pride, 70% Envy, 100% Ambition, and 90% Deceitfulness! </td></tr>
<tr>
<td>You are Satan, the consummate villain, and the ascendant figure in the unholy trinity. Throughout history you have been called The Serpent, The Accuser, The Devil, Lucifer, The Prince of the Power of the Air, and The Dragon, among other things. Your "compatriots" in the unholy trinity, the Antichrist and the False Prophet, are merely pawns in your futile struggle with God. Though, they probably don’t know this. This is because you are a master of deception; indeed the Bible calls you "The Father of All Lies". You are also very ambitious, and you strive to be in positions of the utmost authority. Unfortunately, it was impossible for you to obtain the highest title in heaven and this is part of the reason why you decided to leave. Of course, you couldn’t just leave by yourself, so you managed to use your deceptive abilities to get one third of the angels in heaven to join with you in revolt. God put down the rebellion and expelled you from heaven. To most people, it would seem foolish to start a war against God, but pride can sometimes cause people to do foolish things. In heaven, you were the most beautiful and powerful of all angels and you were well aware of this. Unfortunately, you let your pride consume you and your passions led you down the road to perdition. After you were expelled from heaven, you let another one of your attributes consume you—envy. You knew that you could never defeat God, but you could attempt to destroy humanity, his most beloved creation. Your goal is to bring as many people as possible to suffer in Hell with you. Fortunately for you, but unfortunately for the rest of us, you’ve been endowed with all of the attributes necessary (deceptiveness, confidence, ruthlessness, and ambition) to do a terribly good job at this. </td></tr>
<tr>
<td align="middle"> </td></tr></tbody></table>
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 80% on Pride |
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You scored higher than 82% on Envy |
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You scored higher than 97% on Ambition |
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You scored higher than 98% on Deceitfulness |
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i think its funny. silly christians.. |
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| killer chickens from mars |
[Jan. 30th, 2006|07:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crippled | ] |
| [ | music |
| | perefect fit, dresdon dolls | ] |
so i went to the doctor today with no cast on, i left with a brand new one! yay someone please shoot me. they say that it still hasant healed at all and that if by the end of this month it hasnt healed i have to have surgery adn get a screw put into my foot. so upon talking to several people the consesis is that it isnt going to heal miracoulsy in the next month so i should be getting surgery soon. (*) this blows because after the surgery there is another 2 months of recovery and rehabilitation. i am none to happy about this. my father thinks that this is funny and my mom is the only one taking it seriously. this is redickulos. i painted my toenails with bright red glitter because mel the x ray technician said she would give me candy if i did. i recieved 2 butterfingers!!!! i also dyed my hair red this mornign, well part fof it. i have a red streak now and it looks freaking awesome.
i did a spell to bring my crows to me, (some of you know what i am talking about, others may not) i think its going to go rather well, it should be finnished in a few days.
* i have been eyeing this large stuffed pegasus at toys r us for some while now, and i really want it. its the coolest thing ever, so if my friends could chip some money in and get it for me for my surgery that would be awesome. its 60 bucks but im going to get my mom to go in on it too, so all i need is like half.
i know money is tight but think about it, cards are for pussys, give me something i can really hold on to.
ill post the date of my surgery adn more information
love the cripple. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 28th, 2006|10:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the tv. | ] |
so not that any of you really even care about me anymore but i just thought that this was somewhat of a special occasion. i got sick of my cast today adn sawed it off. i am rather tired of being unable to perform the functions that i normally should i am i tireed of not havign a life anymore. so i did what i felt neccasary and took it off myself. it may not mean that i am all better but it did take out alot of building aggression. i made no money at work today which doesnt bother me other than i have bills to pay. i have no love life. none of my friends care about me anymore. and now on a saturday night i am stuck at home alone with my father and bored out of my mind. i deperatly need a break form the monotany. not that any of you care but i thought that this might be theraputic adn most of you take pleasure fomr my pain. i know this so dont try to hide it anymore. my mind is tired of trying to comprehend the pretend world all of you live in and i have just given up. so to anyone eout there who has real feelings congratulations.. you are 1 in a million.
die trying to save your life. give up, release comes from giving up control.
sheep. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2006|12:18 pm] |
Take the quiz:
What Musical Are You?
Wicked
You're Wicked! Others see you as a bad seed, but you're really just a good person. It's not your fault that others only see what's on the outside. You're misunderstood, and only want love in your life.
Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!
| You Are Most Like Samantha! | 
For you, dating is the ultimate sport
You're into guys with power, looks, or a lot of money.
You rather have a great two weeks than a great forever.
But even you fall victim to love from time to time. :-)
Romantic prediction: You'll find love in the next few months...
But you'll be the last one to realize it. |
so i still have a broken foot, not that that suprises any of you.... life has a funyn way of smacking you ass at a five star resturant, while your in japan. you know?
you could never eat all the icecream you could.
make the deal, win the game, lose your soal and wake no more.
sex for money menas your a prostitute, love is a currency all your own, whores!
so its time to die, why arent you screaming? sweet isnt it? the colors are so pretty as your loosing oxygen.
fear not, i have enough bodies in my backyard, i wont be adding anymore until i find another spot to bury them. |
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| deception at the homestead. |
[Jan. 12th, 2006|11:43 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | my cat meowing | ] |
so as many of you know i have a broken foot, what you may not know is that i have a cat who tries to turn the doorknob. any way i went back to the doctor and i was notified that it hadnt healed at all....i was very angry about this but remained calm. the doctor swiftly left the room and he was replaced by a balding, larger, and smellier man. with him came the whore that cut my cast off in the first place, they talked and flirted while ignoring the patient sitting on the slab. he payed no attention to my foot as he sloppily wrapped me in fiberglass. i left feeling rather dissapointed and went home.later that night, i had to take a knife adn cut off the bottom of the cast so that my toes could get blood. the next day my dad came and got to me to replace it. the machine to saw it off was broken so we had to break it off with our hands or use sissors to get it off me. there were four differnt spots where the pressure of the cast left large red spots. my dad rewraped it and now its 1/2 an inch thick everywear and now weighs four pounds.
lesson: dont break your foot, you do NOT get all the icecream you can eat. |
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| astronauts and coffee breaks. |
[Dec. 29th, 2005|09:50 pm] |
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have you ever sat down with the intention of writing something and ended up writing something completly different? i want to write about how i really feel and i dont think i can do that because i dont really know how i feel about some things. i feel horrible that i dont get to see my friends as much as id like, i hate feeling like i cant be friends with someone that it seems i have known forever just because they are an ass. i hate this foot and all it has done to me. i am sorry i didnt call and wish people a merry cristmas or a happy holiday. |
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| orgasm instalments |
[Dec. 8th, 2005|11:00 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | no music for my troubled soul | ] |
for those of you who dont know the story, i have broken my foot. i have told my paretns that i trpped over the cat but it was actually ....kinky sex. i will spare you the details but i have broken my 5th metatarsal almoist at the base of it, so its what is known as a jones fracture, i am in a cast ( a pink cast) for 2 months, and i cannot walk on it for at least a month. i cannot drive until the cast is off. so if anyone would like to come and keep me company that would be much aprreciated. i want to see my emo muy bad! well i guess, enjoy your two legged follys and give me a call. i want company not sympathy....
alcohol is a way out, the vagina is the way in... |
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| things that i am thankful for this holiday season |
[Dec. 3rd, 2005|03:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
i am thankful for:
my life
my friends:
jean
chris
jenn
alex
heather
tricia
shaula
doug
erin
emo
mark
my cats without which i would no one to clean up after
my family without which i would have no one to bitch at me
my house
my thyroid gland
susan, my computer
the stevestar!
and everthing that has ever happened to me, good or bad, there are lessons to be learned.
my artistic talents
and lastley but certianly not least the trees, without which i would be lost.
merry christmas and happy blow holes! |
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| no more time for games |
[Nov. 7th, 2005|01:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  dont fuck with the dog. | ] |
fire burns eternal
all those who should, will soon die,
taking with them thier sorrows
and thier pain to try,
stomach hurts adn pains them all,
break themselves
and let them fall.
blessed be |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 6th, 2005|06:49 pm] |
i want some guy friends to go with my new found heterosexuality.
call me if you have any information on how to get this. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 6th, 2005|02:14 pm] |
life is so funny isnt it. you knoiw i try really hard to learn all i can form so many people nad for what to be misunderstood by almost everyone. people it seems are so blinded by what they think they know and by there own ideas they cannot see what is right in front of them, i am well aware i am guilty as well. i however try to see through this and am oopen to suggestion, most of the time. i would like someone who is not blinded by there own life, but i think that you have to be dead to do that, so many people live in the past and i understand why but it still seems so useless to me. i want something more in my life, i wnat to fufill my purpose, i want things to end up as they should. a happy ending cannot exsist, because without the sorrow there is no way to gauge the happiness. i constantly have debates inside my own head with myself, an i seem to be the only one. i need to know that there are other people out there worth saving, people who learn, i need to know that there are other ethings out there other than blindness and stupidity. people learn from your mistakes, realize what has happened and get the fuck over it. live for today adn tommarrow, if you wwill not make the decison to learn there is no saving you, you can only save yourselves. WAKE UP! IT IS TIME!!!!!
i love you all, now do something for yourselves. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2005|02:35 pm] |
so i really havent done this in a while but i think that it is a valuable venting tool and right now i need to vent. i am currently in saginaw, nad i beleive i will be staying here for a while, i got fired early last week because the food service part of the albion college has to cut 40,000 tthis year alone. so since students get paid less than 5 and i made almost 8 i got cut along with several others. i worked there for almost three years and i got cut because of budgets. as annoyed as i am i think it is a valuable learning experience. i have deciuded i dont like boys anymore, well only a little. its stupid how life changes. i would like to apologise to shaula, after i went back home to get my stuff i feel asleep on the couch. and i have to say sorrry to jean too, i didnt come home from saginaw until wednesday night and i totally forgot we were supposed to do something. i am well aware that you hate me. as for another job, i am thinking. i dont know exactly what i want to do yet becuase plans keep getting changed. well i miss emo,tricia, shaula, jean, and alex.
my cell is 914 8082, call me sometime. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 3rd, 2005|08:34 pm] |
so i dont update anymore about anything that is really relevant. this saddens me. but people cant seem to stay out of my buisness. so ...... something of importance is i want a girlfriend. i seriously want a girlfriend. to ahve a realtionship AND SEX with. so if you have any suggestions let me know. jory still hasnt called me, but i am thinking about calling him just to get his cd's. god i hate him sometimes. i want to see emo and shaula, i need my book back form erin, i havent talked to darin since i was alive. tricia i miss you bitch! ( trish, jenn says hello) my life is so .... wow....
shane bravo ( govna' boom boom) |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 3rd, 2005|08:30 pm] |
the wedding date is an awesome movie,
that is all |
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